I Hate Brake Lights: 9 Braking Offenses

4 Apr

I Hate Brake Lights: 9 Braking Offenses

Note: <3 is a new emoticon that I’m trying out that means “hate” – well, not hate as hate is a strong word. It means “not love” as love is <3

This is a list of braking offenses that, if there was such a thing as a driving referee and I was one of them, would cause me to throw a flag on the field – err, on the road. This morning on my three-hour drive from Chesapeake, Virginia back to the Northern Virginia area I had plenty of opportunity to ponder this.

While driving on the interstate, any of the following actions constitutes a braking offense:

1. Braking for no particular reason. If you are driving along on the interstate at least 10 car lengths behind the car in front of you, there is no need to put your foot on the brake when the cars in front of you aren’t. You should stop doing whatever you are doing that is distracting you. Put the cell phone/cheeseburger/nachos/MP3 player down. You should have put the right CD in BEFORE you started driving.

2. Responding to tailgaters. If someone is tailgating you, DO NOT tap or slam the brake. Not only is this offensive but you could cause an accident. I realize that some states teach this but this is ridiculous. If you are in the fast lane you should simply move out of the way. That’s the law in Virginia and I think it makes sense. The same goes for someone coming up behind you fast. They see you and know exactly how fast you are going. There is no need to tap the brake. If you are not in the fast lane, it could be that they are trying to pass someone else that didn’t get out of the way and need to gather a bit of speed.

3. Slowing down. If you feel that you are going a few miles over the speed limit and need to slow down, that’s fine. If it isn’t urgent (i.e. cars braking in front of you) you can simply lift your foot from the accelerator and magically your car will slow down.

4. When you see the police. You are going the speed limit or slower and you see a police car on the side of the road, either with someone pulled over or without and you hit the brake. Why? This alone has to cause a great deal of accidents. See number 3 if you feel that you should slow down. Before doing this, however, check your speedometer and see if the slowing down is warranted.

5. Switching lanes. Never never never do this. You’re going to cause an accident. If you’re missing your exit, take the next one.

6. You are tailgating. If you are driving so close behind someone that you need to brake every few seconds, consider going around that person. I know the person should move but there’s no reason for you to cause an accident by tailgating.

7. Stopping. Okay, you’re driving and cars about 15 car lengths in front of you are slowing down or even stopping. Yes, use the brake, but there is no need to slam on it and stop right there. You have room to slow down and stop gracefully. Stopping at speeds of 55 to 65 mph (or higher) could cause a very nasty multi-car collision. Don’t do this.

8. In the acceleration lane. It’s called an acceleration lane. I don’t think that needs any explanation. Maybe it does. When you are entering an interstate or other highway via a ramp, there will most likely be an acceleration lane. It is meant for you to increase speed so you can merge into traffic. Your job on the ramp is to speed up, not to come to a complete stop and hold up all the traffic trying to enter the highway. Some slack is given to Wisconsinites because many roads in America’s Dairyland don’t have acceleration lanes and you actually do have to stop if cars are coming.

Last but not least,

9. When you get to the crest of a hill. I have this theory that I’ve had for more than 10 years. From my observations, it appears that when a driver gets to the crest of a hill on the road and sees all the cars in front of him/her, he/she will brake whether or not the cars ahead are braking. This holds true especially at night or in the morning when taillights are on. I think the driver either mistakes the taillights for brake lights or that they assume that there is a backup because of how many cars they see ahead. I don’t have a suggestion for this other than “don’t do it.” Everyone behind you is scrambling to figure out what’s going on because of your errant braking. Alas there is nothing. I wonder how many millions of dollars would be spent investigating whether this theory has merit. It could be like that one, “poor people don’t eat healthy foods.” Duh.

I hope we can use these tips to make driving an enjoyable experience for everyone. It might also save some money on brake pads and other brake maintenance. It might even save lives.

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