Who are you and why are you calling me?
3 Oct
I had to put this out here as a result of something that happened to me recently. Let’s say you’re a guy and you meet a woman that you’re interested in at some gathering but for some reason don’t get her contact information but you’ve decided that you need to see her again. If you get her contact information through mutual acquaintenances or from the phone book, handle that first contact in the appropriate manner. Do NOT call and leave some type of cryptic voice mail message that doesn’t say who you are, where you met her, where you got her number, AND some type of apology for contacting her this way. Let’s say you have called and left a cryptic voicemail where you don’t give this information. Don’t think that you have to keep calling back until she answers the phone. In this day of caller id, many people don’t answer the phone when they don’t recognize the name or the number. In addition, seeing multiple calls per day from someone who refuses to leave a message will either piss the woman off or freak her out. Leave that voicemail; don’t even dream of showing up at her home or place of business (or place where she volunteers) instead of leaving that voicemail – that’s borderline stalking! So even if she does answer when you call be advised that you have to give her that same information. The script goes like this “Hi Lisa. This is Michael. You met me at the Young Professionals Happy Hour. I enjoyed talking with you so much that I looked you up in the phone book (or I got your number from Marie). I hope you don’t mind that I have called you.” If you need an example, listen to that Alicia Keyes song. Giving that information (and showing that you are considerate of her feelings about being contacted out of the blue) up front will clear the air immediately and probably allow her to receive you more readily. If she has to ask these questions, you are on your way down. If she has to interrogate you, you have no way to go any further than that one conversation. If you don’t offer some apology for contacting her out of the blue, she will see you as rude and inconsiderate – even selfish. If you refuse to give up how you got her number, she won’t trust you. If you are ashamed of the way you got her number, perhaps you shouldn’t have gotten it that way.
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